Lee and I on a Christmas Eve Ride

Back Roads of Birmingham from Charles Lee Payne on Vimeo.

Thanks for the post Lee!!

North Shore Yuppie Eradicators

A small group of local Hawaiian Pipeline surfers with the simple philosophy: "We get the good waves, all the rest of you get the leftovers." Known to cut leashes, stomp boards in half and stomp yuppies in half.

That's my new philosophy. If you come grabbin' on my holds as I'm standing right in front of the thing, your gonna get the stomp!

When I'm done contriving the hell out of it then you and your flock of vulchers can traverse by.

Do not walk up to a problem (already packed with people) and expect to jump on. You didn't brush the holds, that's not your pad you're wiping your feet on, we don't want to see how strong you are. Go somewhere else and wait until I'm (anyone) is done.

Learn a bit of respect. If you don't want to learn, you're getting the stomp.

Even more Jellico Pics

I was alseep early.

Josh and I at the top of the new trail we cut.
A look at the mountains we traveled.

More Jellico Pics

Josh posting up at the JROCC.

How cool is this?!

Audie and I digging out of the creek.

Deanoogle

Google is so much fun.

http://googlemyway.com/Deanoogle

I'm currently working on a map that has some of the landmarks of my life. Houses I've lived in, places I've climbed, places I've snowboarded, etc. I will post a link when I'm complete. So far I'm at 110 points of interest.

Toys for Tots

GrayRock ORV is having its yearly Toys for Tots ride this Saturday only. Come along, bring a toy and ride until sundown. I think Big Lunch is riding with me. This will be the last ride of the season with my doors off. I figure I'll take them back off in late March. I got so used to it without them, I'm kinda intimidated to put them back on.

Anyway, I'll post some pics of the event on Sunday.

Jellico Pictures

Heading out

Cold ride in
Natural rock bridge Beautiful trails!!
Lots of downed trees

Keith in the creekbed

Very cool trails!
Meano
Waiting for Nick to fix his fuel line

More water
Fording a small creek
Keith taking tail gunner

Audie giving it hell!
Taking a late lunch

At the rock race coursePoser shot
Trail carnage
Packing it up

Heading to Jellico

I'm leaving for Jellico, Tn. at 3:30 this morning. I will be back Sunday evening and will have plenty of pictures to post.

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Why I must be single

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, a 1 lb. package of turkey-bacon. As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.' I was a bit confused by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found "The One". I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?' The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly'

Jellico, Tn - Offroad Adventures

I've been invited to an invitation only offroad park in northern Tennessee. So far north it's practically Kentucky. We're leaving this Friday at 4am. I usually can't take my Jeep on rides that far but I've been offered a place on Keith's double trailer. I suppose he's taking any one of his two FAR superior rigs. It will be a honor to be on the same trailer as him. For those who don't know Keith Bailey is the owner of Offroad Connection in Fultondale. We intend on doing some trails cutting on Friday, then riding on Saturday, coming back Sunday. So a little work, a little riding and alot of fun! Josh is riding with me so you know I'll be fine. There are alot of people coming up. This place is like 9000 acres of privately owned wilderness. Check back next week for pictures and updates.

Misc. pictures of surrounding area.
http://www.jellico.com/jellico/summers/scenery.htm

Bouldering update

I've been climbing alot more recently. In fact 3 of the past 5 days. Albeit has not been hard climbing, I have been bouldering. My back is loosening up and I feel my core strengthening up again. Maybe HP40 tomorrow with Sarah!!

Jeff and I spent the last couple days at this small roof at Shades Crest where he is trying his next "process". It's amazing to watch. Check his blog for further details/pictures.

Brrr....

Gas prices. Up..down..hurricanes..$4.00/gallon..what is really going on here. Well it safe to assume I have no answers. I will tell you this though. It's not a good sign that gas prices are going down. Huh? Think of gas prices as an indicator or the economy right now, a thermometer of sorts. If gas prices are going down the economy is getting cold.

Americans drove 10.4 billion miles less in Sept. 2008 than in Sept. 2007.

$1.89/gal at the Chevron down the street.

$0.12/gal in Venezuela,Caracas

Check out this link.

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/global_gasprices/

It's not the Green Tom show

Tom Green should be returning any day now to his regularly scheduled 8pm (Pacific Time) internet based talk show. He took quite a while off to complete his quiz/game show on Planet Green called "Go for the Green". I highly suggest checking it on him as I have before. Although it was rumored for a while that he would be taking over for Conan (Late Night), the job has been given to Jimmy Fallon transitioning sometime in 2009. Personally I would have chosen Tom. He receives alot of crap from so called critics but will always be considered the pioneer of shock humor.

Go here to try your luck at the internet version of the game "Go for the Green". Just enter a screen name and away you go!

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/games-quizzes/tom-green-quiz-game.html

Updating Update.

I'm back and have alot to talk about. Things are gonna get juicy around here. I'm going to start touching on more sensitive topics. With exception of religion and politics there will be no holds barred. I've been ruthlessly searching the web for off the wall topics, viral videos and must see websites and will be posting constantly over the next couple of months. The whole experience here will begin to change including the look. Thanks for stopping by!!

I followed Sarah's advice and uploaded my own photo. Here it is my 1982 Senior High School Yearbook Photo.

Too much fun!

Josh and I had free roam of Gray Rock this week. I had taken my Cherokee up there to mount the new 1/2 ton Chevy rear disc brakes. So of course we had to test it out afterwards. We were tearing up the top roads and I tapped the brakes and the rear end slid sideways. So back to Gardendale Performance to buy an adjustable portioning valve to turn the back brakes down. More high speed testing then proceeded. I finally tuned it in and the rear brakes are at 35%. To all that think 8" of lift on a XJ is too much I welcome you to follow us around.

We pretty much covered the whole place, all 2000 acres. Josh did Cable Hill. I did Bump and Grind. I tried Big Rock and backed down. I need to try it again. I did the canyon backwards and forwards, drove down Brown Hole. We took the long way down Snake Creek. Josh did Bunny Slope 1. Josh rode a little 80cc motorcycle around as I chased him in my Jeep. Today no one was there. No one.

Brrr...

Ah cold temps are coming! I'm so excited. In the past, before climbing, this is what I would have been doing. Now-a-days I don't get the chance to snowboard, but I still got the gear and look forward to one day picking it up again.

Kimbo gets Sliced

How can I be more correct in what I previously said about Kevin Ferguson aka Kimbo Slice. The only difference was Kimbo lost to a different opponent.

Sunrise, Florida. Kimbo had prepared for a fight against Ken Shamrock who had to pull out of the main event because of a cut above his eye. Elite XC had to scramble to fill the card and did so with lightweight stand-in Seth Petruzelli. Who? Exactly. Seth was on TUF2 and has losses to no-named fighters such as Wilson Gouveia and the ultimate suck Matt Hamill.

14 seconds into the first round, YES, 14 seconds Kimbo was lying on the ground with the ref calling the fight over. Seth won with a TKO. That faster than Kimbo has ever finished anyone off.

So what did I say? He would lose to Ken. Well I guess I was wrong instead he lost to even a less known fighter. I'm happy to hear this news and would like to reinforce my prior statement that Kimbo is a junk fighter with no technique and no ground game. He needs to go back to the internet beating on fat guys. He is terrible. I hope this is the end of the road for this goon.

So Hot!

If your a guy, do yourself a favor and watch the episode of Kenny vs. Spenny entitled "The first one to get a boner loses". The link is on the right. I'm not going to ruin the plot but a super hot girl is in it. Bianca Gross is her name. Good luck finding any photos of her I had to take screen shots of the video to show you how hot she is. She comes in scene around 6:00 minute mark.

"SA" Starbucks Anonymous

Addicted is not the word. Dependency is not even close. Obsession and infatuation were passed a long time ago. I'm at the stage now where I need professional help. I'm thinking of a therapist. Do they have Frappuccino therapists?

Luckily I'm only drinking 3-4 a week now. It used to be 1 a day. That's $21 a week in coffee. Summertime brings out the worst in me. It's hot and I want to drink them all day. The cool vanilla milky caffeine induced goodness is best on hot days.

"Super" Cooper in Barcelona

I've been emailing Cooper over the past couple of days. This guy is amazing. His energy is infectious. His travels have lead him all over the world and now he has relocated to Barcelona, Spain. He told me he is filming a bunch for Big Up Productions and recently filmed a well known climber on his hardest route. I would tell you the details but I don't know if I'm allowed.

So he's living in Spain, surfing in the South of France, and pretty much filming all over the world. Check the link to his blog to the right of this post. http://www.zaration.com/

We all miss your company and laughter. Stay safe and enjoy your amazing life!! Hope to see you this year. Cheers!

Is there a doctor in the house?

Sunday Tommy wrecked his 4 wheeler. More like he wrecked his body. I don't know the condition of his 4 wheeler. Here are a list of his injuries:

• Broken right scapula
• Broken left wrist
• Broken right collar bone
• Collapsed right lung (15% collapsed)

So now what? Well he left the hospital today and goes back for surgery on his wrist Thursday.

So I asked him today on the phone, "Are you going to sell your 4 wheeler?" and he quickly answered "No". A man on a mission. He just wrecked it 2 months ago and got away with pretty bad bruises. Get back on that horse Tommy! We all hope you feel better.

Andrew Traylor is out of the hospital...kinda

Andrew text messaged me today. He was leaving the hospital and heading home to rest and heal. I can only imagine how happy he was to leave. He told me his left leg looked like a scene from Leatherface. He also said he would need to be on antibiotics through an iv for the next 7 weeks. Well lets hope this will do the trick. If you know him give him a call or better yet stop by and see him at his house. I'm sure he would greatly apprecaite it.

"Use the Force Luke"

I've been putting alot of hours behind the wheel recently. Probably more miles on dirt and rock then pavement. My Cherokee has kinda officially left the street. I still maintain registration and insurance but soon that too will end. I have a street car now, a Kia Sportage. A hand me down that does pretty well on gas. Back on topic... It's fun to be able to get home from work, jump in the Cherokbeast and put in a couple of hours in the seat. It takes a long time to become so familiar with your vehicle that it becomes an extension of your body. You feel the long arm suspension drop into holes as if you were stretching your legs. You can feel the tires grip on rock as you make forward progression on a hard obstacle. All of these connections make you a better driver capable of predicting the outcome of many situations. I've been reluctant to go at times when I knew the ride may be harder than I wanted it to be. But yet I went and learned so much from confronting fears. Although alot of the time I had nothing to fear. I have made so much progress and I attribute that to a couple of things. Proper instruction is the first. Needless to say I am a control freak and during stressful moments "proper instruction" becomes difficult for the instructor. Secondly my analytical mind classifies each moment and uses it to predict future outcomes. Simply put, pay attention.


So what does all this mean? I am definitely improving each time I go out. Putting this Jeep in major off camber situations, climbing over piles of rocks, trekking through the occasional mud hole, falling off in ruts, driving up and down steep hills, more than I ever had.

Kimbo Slice Internet Ownag3

I can't wait until October 4th when Kimbo fights Ken Shamrock. Not necessarily because I like Shamrock, but more importantly because I think Kimbo Slice is a joke. Lets forget about every fight youtube has with him beating on some fat idiot with no technique. Allow me to bring up the Sean Gannon fight in which Kimbo definitely lost. Sean Gannon was then offered a fight in the UFC and lost by TKO in the first round to Branden Hinkle. Who the hell is Branden Hinkle and who the hell is Sean Gannon? Nobody in the MMA world. Kimbo decisively lost to Gannon and thus lost tons of my respect for him as a MMA fighter.

So now here we are..Kimbo has 2 professional fights with Elite XC and has won both. Recently to James "The Colossus " Thompson, at which event Ken Shamrock called him out. I don't know how this fight will end. My guess is Shamrock will try and take this to the ground immediately and work some of his heel hook magic. There are definitely holes in Kimbo's ground game. We all know he can stand and punch, but what about being on his back? No one has ever seen him fight off his back!

It seems now-a-days it's cliche to call out Kimbo. Not only Shamrock but mostly notably Brett "The Grim" Rogers, who has said everything just short of calling his mother a "whore". At 6'5" 265lbs and a knockout slugger, Rogers will have to wait his turn. Jeff Monson has also had his opportunity to call out Kimbo. But that will never happen.

Dana White from the MMA giant UFC said it best. "Sean Gannon beat him in a street fight. Everyone saw what happened to Sean Gannon when he fought a guy that no one ever heard of (a decisive TKO loss to Branden Lee Hinkle in the UFC). Gannon was in the hospital for three weeks. That’s what would happen to Kimbo Slice if he fought in the UFC. He would get hurt bad – real bad.”

Until Kimbo fights a true MMA competitor he "may" continue to win. Not some 44 year old semi-retired Shamrock, not some fat ex-boxer Ray Mercer, not some clumsy dumb-ass debt collector James Thompson. But some real action. Who does Kimbo need to fight to become bonafide in the MMA world? Well he still needs to get through Antonio Silva, the Heavyweight Champion of Elite XC. That fight may no happen for another year or longer so that Elite XC can build the suspense on their biggest draw. Until then everyone needs to stop boosting his ego. He is not the best, won't be the best and in my opinion will be out of the spotlight before I get done typing th....

Andrew Traylor

Man Down! Man Down! Our local rock crusher is down once again and has been hospitalized. It appears as if the wound he suffered from a motorcycle accident is not healing correctly and the plate inside his leg is now visible. Gross! He will be getting a skin graft from his butt later this week to repair the hole. Gross! Anywho..here is his location so that you all can go see him.

UAB North Pavilion

Main Entrance off 6th Ave.

8th Floor Room 8212

Good Luck Andrew! We are all praying for you!!

Shout out!

A simple shout out to all my friends that I hope to see alot this bouldering season. No particular order and if I left you out I'm sorry.

Sarah J.
Jeffrey the Outlaw
Adam H. the LEGEND
Benito Sanchez
Mike N.
Cooper R.
Chris L.
JJ the VooDoo Child
Angie
Josh S.
Jeremy W.
Jay W.
Becky W.
Andrew T. the Beast
Amie T.
Brian C.
Dave C. aka Gravy
James L.
Lee P.
Raja R. aka Roger

Top Five Fighters (in the past 20 years)

While I'm on topic here is a list of my top 5 fighters:

1-Mike Tyson. Professional Boxer. In his hay-day would knock ANYBODY out. Period. The Best Ever.

2-Fedor Emelianenko. MMA. Current Pride Fighting Heavy Weight Champion. Russian Samba Specialist. #1 in the world right now.

3-Urijah Faber. MMA. Current WEC Featherweight Champion. 20-1.

4-BJ Penn. MMA. Current UFC Lightweight Champion. Black Belt Brazilian Jits. #1 in the world.

5-Evan Tanner. MMA. Self taught. Ruthless knees and elbows. Warrior spirit.

Honorable mentions to:

Nick Diaz. MMA. Gracie Brazilian Jits Black belt.

Takanori Gomi. MMA. Current Lightweight Champion Pride Fighting. #2 in the world.

Evan Tanner 1971-2008

A major tragedy has happened in the MMA world. Evan Tanner, former UFC Middleweight Champion, has been found dead deep in the desert east of San Diego. Many of you know of my love for fighting, the art of fighting, and just the pleasure of punching someone in the face. This blog is not about me though so I'm not even gonna try to explain that last one.

Evan wore many hats during his brief life. A baker, cable tv installer, ditch digger, slaughter house worker, an MMA champion and a million more. He was 37 when he was found dead 2 miles from his campsite on September 8. He went deep into the desert when his motorcycle ran out of gas 100 miles from any town. 112 degree heat took its toll on his body and he collapsed until he was found by a helicopter.

This guy lead his life the way he wanted to. He was well respected and liked in and out of the fighting community. He thought of himself as a poet, a philosopher. He was a humble man until he stepped in the ring. This is one of the first major losses MMA has had in the recent past. RIP Evan Tanner. 1971-2008.

Notable fights:
Phil Baroni I & II
David Terrell
Robbie Lawler
Rich Franklin

I personally have seen ever one of these fights and will always consider Evan to be one of the greatest "self taught" fighters ever.

Weird Websites

Okay, I do not understand this. But then again I have a friend who will remain nameless that used to collect notes she found on the ground. (cough cough) Hi Sarah.
http://www.streetmattress.com/sm.php

Just in case your feeling down today.
http://www.yourethemannowdog.com/

Discrimination Prevention
http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/

Freaky web stuff
http://cmart.design.ru/

T to the Tom.. G to the Green

If you like Tom Green I highly suggest going to his site and checking out my favorite episode of him rapping the part of Chuck D from Public Enemy doing the song "Bring the Noise". He freaking KILLS it!! He is still funny as hell and can apparently can rap as well. No rhyme intended.

Don't call it a comeback..

From http://www.lancearmstrong.com/

Yes, the rumors are true in fact. Lance will be making a historic comeback to professional cycling in 2009. To see a video clip of Lance and his official statement go to www.livestrong.com/lance2009.

What does this have to do with me? Lance is a definate hero of mine. Born 9-18-1971 he is only 5 days older than me. He is a cancer survivor and a 7 time Tour de France winner. (Not that I share the last two with him)

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Armstrong

Physical attributes
Armstrong has a VO2 max of 83.8 mL/kg/min, much higher than the average person (40-50), but not as high as that of some other elite cyclists, such as Miguel Indurain (88.0, although reports exist that Indurain tested at 92-94) or Greg LeMond (92.5). His heart is 30 percent larger than average; however, an enlarged heart is a common trait for many other athletes. He has a resting heart rate of 32-34 beats per minute (bpm) with a maximum heart rate of 201 bpm.

Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

It's coming!! The blog you have all been waiting for. The blog guaranteed to tickle the funny bone and bend you over in gut wrenching laughter. Hollywood Ben has finally arrived and is now live and in your face over the interweb. Give him a couple days to get it started then your gonna get served! Aptly titled..U jellos of ma live mang? The spanish speaking bato is located at http://mytacoeater.blogspot.com Go check it out, but don't hold me responsible for pissing your pants!

The Thief, The Liar, and The Manipulator

Michelle, my cousin who stole all this cha ching, is under the impression that all she has is an "overspending problem". She thinks that she is going to just pay the money back and get a slap on the wrist. My father has left all future decisions to my mother because this is all her side of the family. So now that everyone knows within the family, it's time to let the future unfold. My prediction is that my mother, if given the case, will not prosecute. The SS has told my parents that it is now a federal case. When the SS approached my cousin Michelle they told her it was up to my parents. Or maybe that's what Michelle wanted my parents to believe. Either way she's screwed. No one's going to trust her and she will spend the next 20 years paying back the money, whether or not it's after jail time. I'm fed up but have to remain cool for my other's sake.

Time to dust off my drum throne..

According to the box Rock Band Stage Kit is an “Interactive Light and Smoke Stage Show” to accompany your Rock Band jam sessions. Rumor has it that the light show is even synchronized to the music. Now all I need is a proper stage.

Your a Crazy Bitch!!!

9/12/2008 12:51pm.... The crazy bitch otherwise known as my cousin Michelle McClure has FINALLY called and told my mother that she stole all this money from them. Over $100,000.00. She said she did it all and that her husband knew nothing. The Secret Service approached her and she completely confessed. If you ask me, since your on my blog (you are asking me) she deserves to be thrown in jail. More details later.....

2008-2009 Bouldering Season

The bouldering seasons begins soon. As Jesse Jackson would say.. "With the season anticipation comes expectation and performance evaluation. Celebration will only follow concentration and proper navigation. The season's validation depends on my restoration of prior dedication."

This will prove to be my hardest pre-season of record. I need to get quite a bit of flexibility back and my core strength will need to improve. I'll turn 37 this month and I'm starting to feel it in the morning. In fact just getting in and out of my Jeep has been wearing on my back. So its back to the chiropractor, no pun intended.

Greatest Singers of All Time?

Q Magazine, a UK publication, which considers itself the "Modern Guide to Music and More.." recently came out with a list of the top 100 singers of all time. I disagree on many of the top ten entries.

Top 10:
1. Elvis Presley-From his debut release 'That's All Right' onwards, Presley put sex into rock and roll. Country, gospel and blues, he took them all in his stride

2. Aretha Franklin-Said to have a four-octave range, soul star Franklin showed her prowess and power on hits such as 'Respect' and 'I Say a Little Prayer'

3. Frank Sinatra-Renowned for his perfect delivery and phrasing on classics 'My Way' and 'I've Got You Under My Skin'

4. Otis Redding-Fine versions of songs like 'Satisfaction', but loved for '(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay'

5. John Lennon-Not technically brilliant, but expressive. 'Imagine' is regularly voted one of the all-time great songs

6. Marvin Gaye-Shot dead by his father in 1984, the Motown star was said to have 'the voice of an angel trapped in a man'

7. Kurt Cobain-Not exactly a beautiful voice but his anguished cries on Nirvana hits such as 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' launched a rock revolution in the early 1990s

8. Robert Plant-As singer with Led Zeppelin, Plant and his feminine high register touched millions with 'Stairway to Heaven' and 'Immigrant Song'

9. Mick Jagger-Jagger's wicked rasp introduced Britons to rhythm and blues and is still going strong after more than 40 years

10. Jeff Buckley-Was barely known during his lifetime, but his only completed studio album is now a classic, especially his version of 'Hallelujah'

What about Bowie? Axle Rose? Freddie Mercury? Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston? In my opinion Kurt Cobain shouldn't make this list. Where's Billy Joel?

Nintendo Wii

I bought a Wii yesterday. I played all night. If I had two Wii's (and played with them all night long) would that sound bad? They should have named it something else. Pretty amazing game play. Built in networking card, unlike XBox 360. They don't have an online community like "Live" but I bought it for the infared controllers. I think they're revolutionary.

Newest vehicle in the fleet

My father picked up a new ride. 2009 Cadillac CTS. Crazy interior. GPS, MP3, HID and a ton more abrieviations. I have yet to drive it. I probably won't, just let him keep all to himself.

Raincoat for the Beast

Just picked this up the other day. Couldn't have come any sooner due to today's rain. I'm a bit disappointed though. Wherever the cover contacts a corner of the body it become saturated with water and eventually leaks through. No worries though, it's really doing a good job. It's like a fitted sheet with elastic on both ends.